Oh Hey, Bride
Welcome your bridal rite of passage.
You know, that time where you make the transition from your drab, unmarried existence, to the far more elevated status of Married.
Cue the pre-wedding facial regimen and 6a.m. bridal bootcamp classes. Get ready to present the best version of yourself to the world because this is the pinnacle of your life. The time that you will be your happiest, skinniest, and prettiest.
The time as come to put your life on hold in order to plan the most perfect wedding ever because, after all, a perfect wedding equals a perfect marriage.
It is the level of energy and cash you throw into your wedding that directly reflects just how deep your love is, right?
The way we plan weddings today is a bit fucked.
Instead of being a joyful and meaningful experience, the process is entangled with feelings of anxiety from the opinions of others, like peers, parents, and social media.
You feel constrained by traditions and etiquette—the so-called “rules” you feel pressured not to break—heaven forbid your wedding does not meet the expectations of your guests.
Instead of being an opportunity to honour your relationship with integrity and meaning, it seems that weddings have become more about the opportunity to present your impeccable taste and talent for event styling to the world.
Though you set out with the best intentions—the resolve to create something truly meaningful and to not be swept away in the pressure of it all—the influence of the wedding industry is fierce.
With any attempt to seek out ideas to make your wedding unique or unconventional, you are slowly pulled back into the web of the way things should be done.
The sad reality is that you are an advertisers dream right now. With every industry imaginable looking for a way to get a piece of your paycheque, all preying on your insecurity of ensuring that this day is PERFECT.
Best intentions aside, you are facing one hell of a battle to navigate your way through this shitstorm of pressure and influence.
Traditions Are a Lie
The truth is, that the so called traditions we feel so enslaved to, have either been entirely fabricated by the wedding industry (diamond engagement rings and white wedding dresses for example) or, resurrected from century old customs that didn’t always have the most honourable origins—giving the bride away, anyone?
Besides the fact that we have developed a sentimental attachment to them—with thanks to every good Hollywood wedding scene—these customs have no real meaning. They have been romanticised in order to be commoditised, because that is how you sell products and services.
What About Etiquette?
Oh, you mean the rules aimed to govern the way we live our lives and dictate what is “proper”?
Not to be confused with manners, etiquette is about keeping things orderly. Etiquette is rigid and keeps societies narrow minded and insular. These rule constrict us. And, they are exclusionary to those who don’t fit within societal norms.
Let’s Rewrite the Rules
We are a generation of hackers, founders, and creators. We have redefined everything from our education to our careers, changing jobs as often as we change the cities we live in.
We do relationships differently. We meet later in life, we live together before marriage, and generally break all of the “rules”.
The time has come to redefine the way we celebrate weddings.
Find Your Purpose
How do you do that exactly?
By moving through this process with intention.
By first defining a purpose for your wedding, one that will not only be the foundation that your wedding will be built on, but also a pillar for your marriage.
Because when you are clear on your purpose, you will find that every decision you make is subtly moving you in the right direction.
You will gracefully maneuver around the influence of others, and, you will feel unrestricted to design a celebration with soul.
So, Are You With Me?
Hey, I’m Karen
Inquisitor, storyteller, and former wedding planner.
I like to question everything.
In figuring out how to navigate my way through contemporary culture—the delicate balance of not being excluded for colouring too far outside of the lines, whilst also finding my own meaning and not blindly following the prescribed way—I seek to know the why behind everything.
When I accidentally became a wedding planner 9 years ago, I started to question the way we celebrate them. You can learn more about my journey here.